Hope

The past few months have been pretty hard for me and my family. The economy has really effected us, which in turn effects our mental and emotional well being. I wish I could say I was a strong enough Christian who knew God would take care of me and who didn't doubt. However, I will be completely honest and let you know that I have let fear rule over me these past few months. Instead of getting into His word and spending one on one time with the Lord, I grew distant from God. I know He called me away from my job to take care of my daughter, but when my sister lost her job, which in turn meant I was out of money that my family depended on, I felt a total let down from God. Here I was obeying what He asked me to do, yet my family is struggling in more ways than one!! I felt like He let go of me and I had such a hard time feeling His prescence. I couldn't even really get into worship at church, and for anyone that knows me, knows that worship is MY thing! I let satan build a wall up between me and my God. I let his lies become truths to me. I gave in to my fears instead of standing on God's promises!! However, this past Sunday the pastor said something that really resonated with me. Well, he said a lot that really spoke to me (I thought the sermon was written for me! haha). He said "why are we so afraid that our God will not take care of us? If we love our children and take care of them with all we know how, than how can we think that our Father in Heaven will not do exceedingly more for His children?? And He has ALL the capablities at His fingertips to do so."

This comment really spoke to me and hit me right in the heart. Why am I so fearful?? And of course God loves me! The question should have never been if He loved me or not, it should have been what does He want me to gain from this experience. I can also honestly say that even though my family has gone through a pretty hard financial time, our needs have ALWAYS been met. This Christmas may be a small Christmas, but maybe that is exactly what God wants! Maybe He wants me to focus on all the blessings He has given me like my beautiful Gracie, my wonderful husband, and my awesome family and friends. It's not about the gifts, it's about His son and what He gave to the world! I am not to focus on the presents and what I don't have, but instead focus on what I DO have and all that He has given me. I am His daughter and He will always take care of me NO MATTER WHAT!!

And today I proudly report how gracious and GOOD our God is!! My sister got a job and starts on Monday!!! YAY God and Congrats Kara!!
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I also wanted to post a picture of my beautiful blessing, Gracie. I just can't get enough of this cutie!!


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On a side note, I follow a blog written by Angie Smith (she is the wife of Todd Smith, lead singer of Selah). About two years ago she was pregnant with a baby girl and found out that the baby had a terminal illness and would not live past delivery. She carried the sweet baby, and it died shortly after she gave birth. The blog is her journey through that trial. I love reading her words and find such enouragement in her writing. Her new post is very inspiring and I hope it speaks to you as much as it spoke to me!
http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Halloween

I just wanted to post some pictures from Halloween. Gracie and Adriana were Redskins cheerleaders. They looked soo cute!! I love these girls!

My Big Girl

Time goes by so fast when you have a child. Time was already going fast before Gracie, but now it just flies by! Grace is 8 and 1/2 months already and I feel like she was just born yesterday. She has been having a lot of "firsts" lately and it just makes me feel so proud! I know every mother thinks their child is the smartest and cutest, but Grace really is haha. :)

This past Saturday was Adriana's first birthday party. Can I just say that just blows my mind!! The above picture is from the party. It was an awesome party and my sister did a great job putting it all together! There were sooo many kids. Having everyone all together in one place really showed how big our family is growing and how many new little ones we have. My cousin Misty just had a baby boy, named Anthony, this past week. So, currently the new little ones are Connor (just turned 1), Adriana (1), Grace (8 1/2 mths), and Anthony (1 wk). Now that doesn't count all the other little ones that we have that are under 6. We also have a lot of friends that just had babies too! Gavin (4 mths), Landon (2 mths), Peyton (17 mths), and Maddie (1 yr). Grace and Adriana are so blessed to have so many play mates!!

Seeing all the new little babies at the party made me think of how much Grace has grown in such a short amount of time. It also makes me want to have another one so bad!! Grace has started to finally crawl. She has been kind of crawling for about a month now, but she was more interested in sitting up and pulling herself up on things than actually crawling. Well, the morning of Adriana's party, she started crawling!! She does it so well!! Gracie also learned to wave with one hand on Saturday too. She was trying to wave for quite some time, but she would wave with both hands haha. Now she finally gets it and waves with just one hand. She also said "no no" for the first time on Saturday and has not stopped since! This was cute the first few times, but now it's lost its excitement haha.

Saturday night, Clinton was leaving to go to the store and Gracie could tell he was about to leave. So she crawls over to him and says "no no dada" over and over again and then kept giving him lots of kisses. She didn't want him to leave. It was sooo cute!! I know it broke Daddy's heart! It was a big step for Grace because it showed that she is using her words in association with their meaning instead of just babbling words.

She is so fun to watch! Gracie loves to play with toys and figure out how they work. When she figures out how the toy lights up, plays music, or moves she get so excited and proud of herself. I love the look on her face when she figures it out and how she looks around for me or Clinton and then claps to show her excitement. She is just the cutest thing. I may miss her little baby stage, but I sure am loving her "big girl" stage. God has blessed me with such an amazing daughter! Even when things are going crazy around me, all I need to do is look at my sweet little girl and see God's goodness and mercy. I see His Grace!!